We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

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Crying is blackmail.

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Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

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‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

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Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

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Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

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If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

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You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both

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If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

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Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

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ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

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Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

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If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

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If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.

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I am in shape. Round is a shape.

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